first sunday of summer

March 2026

Lying in the garden, just watching colors exist. Leaves, flowers, the clear sky (yes, low AQI town privilege). Took a break. No, i am not working this weekend. And i actually enjoy what i do, though.

i spent last night writing CUDA kernels by hand, which is my new interest. i am making progress but it's slow. But it's a pro--

i've always wanted to be an engineer since childhood. Always curious about how things work, always wanted to play a small part in building something big and useful. That's what i'm doing now.

But today feels different. No rush to chase frontier tech. Just the sky. Five shades of green. Maybe i'll play piano or guitar later. Who knows.

It's 4 PM, clear sky, a bit hot. Summer's starting. But the little cold breeze, John Mayer in the background, and a diet Coke. It hits different.

And somehow i drift into thinking about the future.

i want to buy my own house someday. Not because i don't have one, i'm lucky that way. But i want one in a different city. Don't know why. Just do.

A car. Motor home. Big-ass grand piano. Taylor guitar. Yeah, materialistic person.

Travel the world. Document my life. i want to solve a great engineering problem. Do research. Take my parents on a world tour.

Play piano at a bar or a tiny café in some remote corner of the world, where nobody knows me, and the only thing they know is that he plays piano.

i want to paint something. Go on crazy treks. Direct a film. Talk to interesting strangers.

i guess i'll do all of it. One thing at a time.

i want to see more colors of nature. Become its student.

And someday, i want to lie in a garden again, maybe in my farmhouse, doing absolutely nothing, like today.

But hey, i'm writing this. i guess that's allowed.